Monday, May 11, 2015

Some Things Just Can't Be Fixed

Some things just can't be fixed no matter how much we want them to.

 When something breaks our first instinct is to fix it whether it be the kitchen sink or the car a broken plate a relationship we WANT TO FIX IT. It's human nature to want to fix things when they're broken. Now when our children are sick that is a whole other kind of broken that no one ever wants to face but some us us have to.  When you find out your child is sick yet again you feel it in you to fix him/her no matter the cost, you would give your soul if it was an option just to fix what ever is wrong with your precious innocent child. Well here we are at the non fixing point.Yes it's true some things just can't be fixed not even by medicine and brillant doctors. Its just the way it is and all you can do is keep going move forward and keep going because what other choice do you really have?

What do you do when you have tried all your options and and done all you could do. You've had your child poked and prodded tested over and over. Countless arguments with your spouse about enough being enough and if we should just give up or stay to figure what is wrong. So we stay at Packard it took about a week lot's of test invasive test,procedures and lots of brilliant Doctors working to find out the problem and FINALLY a the discovery was made.

A lung profusion scan along with nuclear medicine shows that Cole has several tiny AVM's in his lungs and abdomen. He was sent home on 24/7 oxygen at 2 liters as this helps his o2 levels so much and puts him from low 60's to 98. Yeah its hard but no more baby blue!!! So what I trip on a 50 foot cord every now and then and we haven't figured out how to go to the park yet but we will get there. The part that hurts the most was our 1st pulmonary appointment.

I sat in a room with Cole along with his 2ft tall o2 tank and stroller must of been a sight lol anyways Dr. C came in and said she could see the AVM's and is 100% certain that he does have HHT AVM's that will spread over time because I genetically gave this to him. I'm learning to deal with that and it will be a different blog post. Moving on I said good we know where the AVM's are located when are we fixing him with a smile, she looked at me and said " we aren't" just as simple as that and then said sorry I looked at her and all I could say is okay then what do we do? She said let him experience life be a boy and wear his oxygen as much as he will wear it since it helps him he will be smaller than other children and this is a disease and it will spread and we will do scans yearly if the AVM's ever are big enough to fix we will fix them till now enjoy your baby love him and don't limit him. My face was still in shock at the fact that my baby could not be fixed that there is nothing but oxygen that could be given. He is not in pain he is happy and with the oxygen he grows and develops we see a change in his daily.

Cole is such a fighter he is so mean lol well tough, he can be mean at times and so so loving he loves babies just loves them and boy does he love musicals he loves music and LOVES to sing. He is so full of spunk but I think without that fight that is what keeps him going we have so much still ahead of his his journey has just began and to think this all started with his heart defect. By the way his heart is look amazing pumping great and scar tissue growing just as is should. Cole will be 2 years old May 17th he is getting so big we all love him just the way he is and couldn't imagine our lives without our miracle boy.  

My Crabby Patty Cole he was Mr. Happy today :)


Cole and Brother Gavin 


1st time out on portable oxygen we had lunch he was happy to be out
Easter Day 2015 all dressed up 
Cole didn't let anything stop him from finding all the hidden eggs at Aunt Nita's and Unlce Ralphs





Friday, March 6, 2015

Our New Home Life



So Stanford let us go and boy oh boy we couldn't be happier especially Cole.


 A lot is different now that Cole is on oxygen 24/7 my how things change in a  blink of an eye. A toddler on oxygen is a challenge let me tell you, praying for strength daily. I will have to finish this post later just know we are home and learning and I have had highs and lows as so has Cole.


To Be Continued .........







Zofran Lawsuit Did you Take in your 1st Trimester?



So this has been a topic on my blog once before and it caused an up roar which resulted in me taking it down. Here we are again, did you take Zofran during your 1st Trimester and your baby was born with a birth defect?

 Well guess what, I DID take this crap the real Zofran because I was extremely sick and couldn't stop throwing up I was only 6 weeks pregnant with Cole at this time. Today I seen this ad so I called the number and spoke with a Lawyer. This isn't about searching for money this is about the principal that these doctors throw us meds that they don't know what it can do to our unborn fetus's. If you think you have been effected by this drug click on the link below. With all of us we can make sure another baby doesn't result from a birth defect by a sick mama that has been prescribed this drug.



http://zofranresourcecenter.com/

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Cath Lab

Yesterday March 2nd we went to the cath lab with the amazing Dr. Perry. Well guess what Cole did great but no answers so back to the pulmonary team we go. To see such a brilliant Dr. sit before be scratching his head in utter disbelief was something else. You could see his wheels turning and you could also tell he wished he could of given me some sort of answer as to what is going on with Cole. There is still a residual ASD but its so tiny it's doing no harm and will close on its own.

The recovery went well, Cole was on light oxygen in the recovery room and wanted his mama which hey as exhausted as I was I wasn't complaining. I held my baby so happy all had went well frustrated we still have no answers but I have my baby. The night was ruff heart rate was super high or super low his sats were low throughout the night and he started to run a pretty good fever. By morning he has been fantastic and his leg where they went in a little sore, which hasn't kept him from being ornery not one bit. Next step back to pulmonary for more testing this afternoon. 

By the way what ever they gave Cole to calm down before they put him under made him laugh hysterically I wish I could of got it on video. LOL my poor baby he is so tired of getting tested, poked and prodded. We are on day 5 of being at LPCH. 



        Headed to the Cath Lab 


       Not too low I think we can go home

            Cole is ready to escape


Saturday, February 28, 2015

The Waiting Game

So yesterday was filled with lots of unanswered questions. We sit here and wait. All I can say is hopefully later today we have answers to what our plans are for Monday and I am in hopes we get to go home. Possible heart cath tomorrow. Praying for answers as Cole is now on assisted oxygen when out of bed as his sats drop between 68-70 I have no idea what is going on in that little heart. Praying for strength daddy had to go home and work we are NPO at 2am and an add on case in cath lab tomorrow. Cole is sleeping peacefully right now and I think I will get some rest too.

To be continued......




          My Cole, Baby Wild Sunshine





       IV team trying to start a new IV

Friday, February 27, 2015

Stanford Children's aka LPCH Sleepover

So we were admitted to LPCH last night. Just so you know nothing serious his pulmonary Dr. thought it would be best to stay and have his testing done today because Coles blue spells and o2's have been crappy these days. So here we are watching Frozen for the hum-tenth million time. I have to say I don't mind although the nurses might when I belt off into Elsa or Anna singing voices lol. Enough joking lets get to why we are here. Cole needs an angiogram and bubble echocardiogram today and will be completely put under. These test will ultimately determine what is going on and what course of action will be taken to fix the problem and or problems. IV team came to prep for Coles iv should be about 30 mins he had numbing patches on his hands right now to lessen the pain of getting poked.

I know one thing is certain Cole is so strong and happy. He makes me melt and well some people are worth melting for as the great Olaf says. I'm not sure what time the tests will take place put I'm sure it will be by mid afternoon. Hubby and I will not be with Cole during these test since he will have two anesthesiologist teams cardiac and pulmonary in the surgical room. Has to take place in there since he will be under general anesthesia. Praying is all we an do and I can feel it in my heart all will be okay. 

To be continued........... 

               The Pombo's are back 

     Cole last night with baby (his blanket)

       Daddy and Cole deep in thought

       Cool numbing patches. He thinks?!?


Friday, February 20, 2015

Adventures with RSV & Pneumonia


So February 16th was my Birthday, I turned 34 yay!!!! Some very troubling events happened that day and well lets just say the best gift I got was COLE :)


And here is the story...........



February 13th I noticed Cole's cold just wasn't getting better so a call to his Dr was made. All the boys in the house are sick so I just thought they all had this nasty cold that is passing around the town. Dr. said Cole was weezy and maybe he had asthma along with a cold. I went to 5 different pharmacies to get the breathing meds and nebulizer I felt defeated that Friday for sure. As we went through the weekend, Cole kept spiking a temp of 102 every time it would go down it would just come right back his o2 was in the low 80's. Low o2's are nothing new for Cole but that will be on another post. Monday was here and it was my Birthday Presidents Day so I had ALL the Boys at home as school was closed. I called Hubby and let him know baby was still sick and burning up about 103 meds were given and I undressed him and gave him a breathing treatment as he had labored breathing. Auntie Misty came to visit with Cousin Rocco to deliver Auntie Chell (that's me) a birthday gift. Auntie Misty helped give baby Cole his breathing treatment as asthma is not something new to her, Rocco has severe asthma and has had it since 9 months of age. Breathing treatment was over and Cole was still struggling to breathe at that time Hubby came home and we started packing a bag. We knew birthday or not it was time for Cole to go to our local ER. I must of called his pediatrician 17 times I was furious no one ever called back!!!!!!! Despite no calls from the pediatrician we headed to the local ER, I kept saying they will just send us home and Hubby looked at me and said "better they look at him and check him out then to keep him here and he get worse."

We arrived at the ER about 5:40 pm 2/16/15 did the whole check in thing and we waiting only 2 short minutes before the triage nurse called for Cole. His temp was still high 102.5 and his o2 was 88 yikes, what is going on I was thinking. We went through with the nurse he has labored breathing which was apparent because his little tummy was going so fast to get air in and out of his lungs it was more than noticeable. At that point I looked at her and said I bet he has RSV!!!! We were taken to a room immediately. By the time we walked to the room and sat Cole on the bed the ER there was a Doctor and 2 nurses by his side checking him out tests were order and breathing treatments were given again. I have never been helped that fast in the ER EVER!!! At that time by the look on the doctors face I knew something was wrong. Chest X-ray was ordered along with tons of blood work IV was started, I knew we weren't going anywhere anytime soon. We notified all family via social media and text to let everyone know what the status of Cole was. 2 hours later the ER Doc confirmed Cole had pneumonia and an RSV test was ordered as well. I knew in my heart that Cole did have RSV which was unsettling because the year before he had the Synagis vaccine and this year's dose was approved but his cardiologist and pediatrician didn't think it was necessary. 2 more hours or so and it was confirmed Cole did in fact have RSV and we would be going to Stanford where his cardiac care team was. Lucile Packard is the Children's Hospital for Stanford and they sent an ambulance to transport Cole. 10:30 pm LPCH showed up to get Cole and make sure he was stable enough for our ride.

We arrived at LPCH around 12:16 am 2/17 in the PICU not a place we wanted to be again but it was necessary. They got a co-sleeping bed for Hubby and Cole and I went to a sleep station to get some rest once he was all hooked up and situated.  Around 4:30 am Coles oxygen dropped in the low 70's to 80's a place we haven't been since pre heart surgery, Cole was place on oxygen a low amount but it helped. Also Coles blood pressure was pretty high. Rounds were next and as a heart mom or a mom that has been through these rounds you notice your child may show off and be extra awesome looking during these rounds Cole did just that and was kept in the ICU till that evening then transferred to the step down unit. Still on minimal oxygen his o2 levels went back up great. During rounds it was mentioned about Coles history of his low o2's with his bluish and grey spells that started happening after his repair that was done 7/5/13, Pulmonary was called for a consult.


We were put on the 3rd floor on the East wing in an isolation room as RSV is highly contagious, the bright side to this we had a room all to ourselves which was awesome. Did I mention that LPCH has a movie on demand for the kids and Frozen was an option, it's safe to say we watched Disney's Frozen over 20x's. It kept Cole occupied and for the most part and very content thank GOD we brought baby which is Coles security blanket ( by the way he named this blanket himself)

 Pulmonary came for a visit and Dr Conrad was the Dr she is noting but brilliant and a genius!!!! She may have even determined a problem that I have that I could of passed down genetically to Cole.
Cole had worn a 24 halter monitor months previous to record these blue spells ordered by Dr. Punn his cardiologist, in those 24 hours 3 low o2's were recorded in the low 70' to high 80's it have these episodes recorded makes a parent feel less crazy and overly dramatic trust me and all of those episodes are in Stanford's computer system in Coles chart. At some point the referral to pulmonary had been lost from that last visit but all that mattered was that we were being seen now. 2 test have been ordered a Chest CT Scan with Contrast and a Bubble Echo all will be done while Cole is sedated with he will need a Cardiac anesthesiologist to help with the sedation. This will be a team effort and should hopefully be happening sometime next week. What ever the test uncover some procedures will need to be done to fix the problem and or problems. I really don't know if I want to get into the what if's at this point it will just make my head spin,  that will be another blog post so be on the lookout. Cole was released from Stanford late Thursday evening and seems to be doing better despite his low o2's . He is happy today and I am blessed to have him home running around back to his ornery self LOL. Now we wait for the testing and the out come of how to fix Cole so he can get back to his self and keep growing. Praying is all we can do and trusting that the Lord knows what is best for Cole and that having faith that Cole will be fixed.



    Lucile Packard came and got Cole


               Cole in ICU at LPCH

                Cole and Mommy

      Nurse Veronica was Coles favorite


        Kiss me mama I'm feeling better



 Beautiful quote sent to me by a wonderful colleague:

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."